Becoming..

Becoming is an active state, it is to be dynamic, in movement! In order to be actively engaged in our journey of becoming, growing, healing, is to be consciously aware of the changes , the choices within ourselves, the changes that happen within our mind, our body and our soul and the choices we then decide to or not to make!

Life is a journey, and on any journey you have choices;

how to travel, what mode of transport

which way to go, route to take

what to take with you

when to start

who to join you

if you choose stop and break up the journey

YOU create your journey through the CHOICES you make, the journey through life is the act of BECOMING!

Therapy has allowed me to be more actively engaged. Engaged in my behaviour, my reactions, my actions and my feelings. Checking in with myself allows me to be more aware of what supports me and my growth and what I allow, accept and believe I deserve and all of these areas had stemmed from childhood.

How you were taught to become was, is learned behaviour, so until you are able to acknowledge your responsibility, your role in where you are today, you are actively engaging in inherited, family beliefs, ideas and old ways of being.

I invite you to take a moment and just ask yourself a few simple questions;

Where do you feel you ‘get in your own way?’

What would need to change within you to create ‘more’ of what you desire?

What old beliefs, thoughts, habits and behaviours hold you back?

If all of the above changed, what would be happening in your life that would let you know you have actively engaged more in becoming….

Rest, to enhance you.

Rest is very necessary ingredient for vitality, for energy, for enthusiasm, for gratitude, for a healthy mind and for a thriving body.

Rest allows you the space to reflect on life, on experiences, on choices, on your feelings and decide how to be with what is happening within your life.

Rest supports you with being able to find that place within yourself that can decompress, take time to step away from people, places and perhaps the speed or maybe the overwhelm.

When we give ourselves permission to slow down, to create time for ourselves away from the noise of life and people, we are unconsciously saying to ourselves…‘you matter!’

In our incredibly fast paced, high achieving, social media posting world, rest doesn’t look dynamic, it perhaps doesn’t get likes or respect or even noticed.

Rest is to reset yourself.

Rest is to switch down a gear, to slow down and feel more.

Rest is to have the space to see the bigger picture and the power in the smaller detail.

Rest is to create time to do ‘less’ and to BE ‘more.’

Rest says I am taking care of myself.

Rest is the ingredient that creates a better quality of life, a richer thought pattern, a more grateful heart and a more aware way of being.

Rest enhances life in so many ways, it adds texture, depth, colour and enables us to live a life of BEING more.

Rest adds emotional wealth to our life!

Checking in – with yourself!

We check in to social media. We check in to the airport. We check in with friends and family to see how they are!

Do you check in with yourself?

What does that even look like?

To check in with yourself is to be aware of how you are thinking, how you are feeling, how you are managing your life, juggling your responsibilities and if you have found a balance that allows you to ‘feel’ calm and thriving! Unless we are taught to check in with ourselves, you may discover that the only time you know how you are, is when you are feeling rubbish, tired, drained, emotional and perhaps overwhelmed. How refreshing would it feel if we took time to check in throughout the day, so we captured the calm moments, we found ourselves smiling at the smallest precious moments, we noticed the gratitude at the simple things.

When we make time to check in the ordinary moments become extraordinary, the stranger that smiles as they walk past you, the car that lets you out, the friend that texts to say they thought of you, your child who gives you a random hug, the feeling of putting the key in your front door, the sun rise, the awareness another day is your gift.

To check in, is to live in the present, the NOW and to be conscious of the smallest moments in life that are the thread of life. When we are able to appreciate that we ‘get to’ drink that cup of coffee, have the shower, commute to work in the morning, when we stop and acknowledge where we are, so many others don’t have that luxury, we ‘get’ to see the gift in the everyday!

Checking in can be such a simple exercise, start with once a day and ask yourself;

How do I ‘feel’ emotionally? Calm, happy, sad, confused, lost???

How do I ‘feel’ mentally? How am I thinking? Overthinking? Misusing my imaginations? Distracting myself with unnecessary thoughts? If you find your mind is too full, take a moment and focus on your breathing….Breathe in for 5 and out for 7 and do these until your breathing is the focus and not your thoughts.

How do I ‘feel’ physically? What is happening in my body? Where am I holding tension? Take a moment and just tune into that part of you and let it soften, become aware of what you are holding onto!

How do I ‘feel’ spiritually? This is personal to you, it could be religious, how connected am I to my beliefs or it could mean grounded, centred, trusting….do I believe the universe has my back and all is flowing. If you feel out of sync, take a moment and think of 3 things you are grateful for, think of how far you have come in the last 3,6,12 months and then just allow yourself to BE!

May you create moments today to check in with your greatest and most precious investment, YOU!

Be more here than there…..

It is very easy to distract ourselves from life by overthinking! We can overthink worst case scenarios, which then causes worry, negatively meditate or we can escape in to the what if’s? Imagining the fantasy future…getting lost in the dreams of tomorrow, both of these are ways to escape being present, BEING HERE, distracting ourselves from what is really happening within us at this moment…

When we lean into the present moment, our feelings tell us what is happening within, our body can give us clues as to where we are holding tension… we can ‘feel’ parts of ourselves….embracing the parts of ourselves that are confused, sad, lost, or maybe just becoming more aware of the parts of ourselves that wants to run from the moment by overthinking. Unless we have been lucky enough to have been taught meditation or mindfulness as a child, how we ‘feel’ and explore our emotions is how we were taught by those around us. Different people use different distraction, making money, shopping, drinking, social media, smoking, worrying, anything that takes us away from our allegedly scary feelings.

Are feelings scary? or are they just uncomfortable because they are unknown? have we just picked up that they might be scary because very few people can teach us how to sit with our feelings, somewhere within us we then believe that the discomfort is ‘too much.’ Maybe the ‘too much’ is running, hiding, trying to escape our feelings, distract ourselves, creating a life that has us ignore not embrace our feelings.

Take a moment right now and just notice all the different parts of yourself… what are you feeling? what is happening within your body? what is your mind telling you? how do you feel in this moment? can you relax into it or do you fight it? can you feel the emotions that want to surface……..

I took some time out and practised the exercise above and I want to share with you my experience, I wrote it up afterwards as I was surprised by how a small amount of time, no more than 10 mins, allowed me so much insight..

‘Sitting in stillness, practising more ‘here than there’ as I want to be a lot more present in my life…

A part of me can hear the stillness, noticing the noises of life around me

A part of me wants to get up and run from this moment to distract myself

A part of me struggles to sit in this stillness, its uncomfortable, I am so much more aware of myself

A part of me has found great comfort in distraction, busy…..

A part of me loves being here now

A part of me feel unsettled as I sit

A part of me can hold the space to sit in others’ truth and reality, why is this more challenging

A part of me loves the ‘real’ conversations and connections, so now for more with myself

A part of me has always recognised the need to strive, achieve and move forward, at what cost!

A part of is slowly, learning the gift of BEING…. and that is too BE more present in the here and now!

I hope you allow yourself the time to be, to reflect and meet the many different parts of YOU, you EXTRAordinary human being!

When we meet ourselves more authentically, then we can share the gift with others.

PRESENCE!

Choose day.. you decide!

It didn’t start with you, it started with your parents, and they picked it up from their parents and the story continues…… YOUR WELLBEING, self care, how you look after yourself is inherited unless you have chosen to do it differently!

We learn the language we speak, some of our favourite foods, music, programs and past times from what we did as a child and these continue as we grow up… our brain is programmed from birth from all that we see, feel, learn and come to know! So a lot of who you are, your foundations were laid with absolutely no input from you…..but NOW as the adult you are, you DO have the choices …… they may not feel like choices as the ‘neural pathways’ your brains’ programming is so deeply entrenched into who you are – that you may feel powerless or fearful to make new choices….

New choices are yours and self care is a huge part of the choices, how you decide, how you choose to take care of you, forms the foundation of your calm, your happiness…..if your mother needed to please and look after people, then this may be a habit of yours, if you father was dedicated to work above all else, then again you may well have learnt to become this hard worker….

BECOMING is an on-going journey, maybe some people believe you can’t change, but our brain can change whenever you choose to make changes!

When you decide that your wellbeing, is your responsibility, how you live your life is up to the choices you make….then you can start to make new choices, create a new normal and that might be as simple as doing ‘less’ of something that doesn’t work for you and perhaps finding time for doing ‘more’ of something that you enjoy…. so many people use a holiday to do things that they don’t do in everyday life, read more, take walks, siesta, take time to sit and just be, if you are enjoying it on holiday why not make time for it in everyday life!

So this Tuesday, Choose day, I invite you to do less of something that drains you and MORE of something that enhances YOU!

Emotional wellbeing….

what does this really mean?

We all want to be happy, calm at ease within ourselves, comfortable in our own skin, to live in world where we can be true to ourselves, make life enhancing friends and to thrive – sounds easy enough!!

How do we create this? How do we allow ourselves to feel ‘wellbeing’ to feel at ease within ourselves…

We start to unpick all that no longer serves us, all that we have inherited unconsciously from those around us, our parents, society, friend, peers, colleagues – we start to reflect on what ‘ease’ looks and feels like to us……how do we feel ease? where? when? with who? Then as we start to understand what ease, is to us, we start to be brave enough to slowly do less of what no longer serves us, see less of the people who are hard work, be less in the places that feel challenging, do less of the ‘stuff’ we think we should do… have the courage to explore where you feel most YOU!

I always believed that busy was my ‘go to’ if I was busy I was achieving, I was doing,I was making a difference, I was justifying my existence life was good….. life was full therefore I was in my own head creating ‘things’ working really hard, more recently I have come to understand, that these aren’t even my beliefs, I inherited them unconsciously I picked them up along my journey and I lived them again and again and again……..until I realised I wasn’t thriving I was BUSY and there is a massive difference.. so as I sit in the sunshine computer in hand, alone, still and sharing my truth, I feel balance, calm and ease…. its taken 45+ years to challenge the old lifestyle, to look deeper within and to find the place under all the other stuff that ME!