Each and everyone of us has been through numerous life changes, some good, some bad, some traumatic, some we have chosen, some we have had no power over but all of them have impacted how we who we are!
We have all managed to survive these experiences, perhaps changed because of them, maybe we choose to change or maybe the experience changed us and we are still living with the behaviours we created to cope, to survive!
When we are hit with huge change, the impact can be far reaching, it can impact our mental health, the way we think, being thrown into chaos, the unknown, can create worry, fear, overthinking, anxiety and stress, our brain goes into the ‘flight, fight or freeze response’ to cope! Far to often we then stay in this place, the apprehension, disconnection, or maybe overcompensating can stay with us, we have now created a habit that is hard to break and our coping mechanism becomes our daily place of mental living! It is like getting stuck on a roundabout and never choosing the exit off!
Change goes against human nature, we love patterns, we are creatures of habits, our brain is a pattern matching organ and it feels ‘safe’ repeating what we do. Even though many of our mental habits are limiting and hold us back!
We can allow life changes to blow our life apart to create room for the unexpected, the new and a different way to be or maybe live. These times of change require us to dig deep, to build resilience and to walk through the fear, with courage and create change from the changes. There is no courage without fear.
I lost my first child late in pregnancy, close to his due date and it was both heartbreaking and life changing, somewhere deep in me as I witnessed the smallest coffin being placed into the ground, I knew that I had two choices, bury myself under the pain or find that part within me to create change as his legacy! It was a messy process, full of heartbreak but it was life changing, I retrained, I moved out of the city, I ditched habits that held me back and I invested in creating a new me. 19 years on he is my game changer, he allowed me to dig deep and to find that part of me that was buried under ‘safe’ and patterns of limiting habits!
We can therefore allow the pain of change to change us, to grow through and from the experiences, we can become more than we ever imagined and realise that by fearing change we fear growth and the very essence of life.
Whether it is a relationship breakup, a job loss, a death, friendship betrayal, chronic illness or diagnosis, whatever the change, you can create changes within to support you.
Take a few minutes and just reflect;
How do you feel about change?
What do you need to support you through change?
What have you been taught about change from your family?
Who is a good person to talk through your feelings, thoughts with?
Can you learn to share your feelings, to get more support, what would be step 1?
What changes in your life would make you feel more alive?
What is holding you back?
mylifeme1 